If Dogs Could Text

Did you ever wonder what your dog does all day while you are away? Below is a texting conversation which just might occur if dogs had thumbs.

Fido: I’m bored. When will you be home?

Owner: In a couple hours. Why don’t you go look out the window?

Fido: Because that stupid cat next door is leering at me. He stands on the window ledge outside and makes faces at me. He knows I can’t get outside and he’s rubbing it in.

Owner: That’s too bad. Well, you could get one of my old socks under the bed and chew it up. Get the one with holes in the toe.

Fido: I don’t feel like it. Bring me home a treat—a beef jerky stick or something.

Owner: You don’t need a treat. You’re getting too fat.

Fido: I’M getting too fat? Look in the mirror, big boy. Why don’t you take me running tonight?

Owner: Because I’ll be too tired when I come home. I work hard for a living—unlike you.

Fido: Well, you wouldn’t be so tired if you didn’t stay up late talking to your girlfriend on the phone. Mushy, mushy. Yeck!

Owner: Hey, don’t knock something you don’t know anything about.

Fido: I DO know how to be a lady’s man. And I’d learn a lot more if you’d be a pal and let me run around the block once in a while. But NOOO, you keep me fenced in the back yard. Some friend YOU are!

Owner: Go chew on your bone. I’ve got work to do.

Fido: So, are you bringing me a treat tonight?

Owner: I told you, you’re getting too fat. You don’t need a treat.

Fido: Okay, but don’t be surprised if your best sneakers happen to be chewed up when you come home.

Owner: You’d better not!

--Ever wonder what YOUR canine pal is thinking?