Zoo Cues

In keeping with the February theme of love, consider this unique way of thinking about our cultural norms of dating.

Did it ever occur to you that in the dating realm, animals might have one up on us humans? They give nonverbal cues to show their intent. It’s as simple as that.

Watch the chimpanzees at the zoo. If you think their teeth-baring is a sign of friendship and you smile back, don’t be surprised when they leap at the bars in an agitated manner. That’s because in the chimpanzee culture, baring the teeth is a sign of aggression, a threat.

When faced with a territorial dog that is guarding his property, if you stare into his eyes, he sees that as a threat and may leap at you.

In the same way, wouldn’t it be convenient if we humans could issue certain societal cues similar to the animal world?

Let’s say you’re at a party and bored with the person talking to you. You glance at your watch, then around the room. The other person doesn’t catch your cue. Wouldn’t it be convenient if we could perhaps bare our teeth in an O-shape that says, “Stop! You make me want to go home and cover up my head!”

Ever notice that when lions stalk their prey, they often let out a huge ROAR? Think how much money men could save on chocolate and flowers if only they could walk up to a girl they like and bellow out a primordial roar. Of course, the girl then would have two options: a shrug of the shoulders to convey, “No way!” or a smile and a nod of the head to say, “I’m willing to consider you.”

A species of birds drops a stick in front of the one they consider material for animal matrimony. Again, what a money-saving tactic.

What about cues that tell someone he has halitosis? Our Siamese cat shakes his head and backs away if someone gets in his face with bad breath.

Would someone please start a cue that our little dog uses? When he wants affection he puts his muzzle under our hands and nudges. No games, just, “A little attention here.”

Cues from the zoo: what a great way to simplify our lives.

-Have any respectful ideas? Don't forget to comment below.