Hearing Loss: It Helps If You Laugh

Do you ever feel frustrated with a friend or relative who has hearing loss? Wish you could help? Then read this insider's view.

My ongoing malady (hearing loss) appeared years ago. When those around me began speaking in what sounded like foreign languages and their words sounded garbled, my brain struggled to process them. I became motivated to visit an audiologist. She called it nerve deafness hearing loss. So, that solved the mystery. What next?

Being on the receiving end of hearing loss guarantees a ride on an emotional roller coaster. Initially, you become frustrated at the inconvenience. Then you become embarrassed when you have to ask people to repeat themselves. After a while, humiliation takes over when family members yell, “I WISH YOU COULD HEAR! I’M GETTING TIRED OF REPEATING MYSELF!”

Group conversations present unique challenges. When you ask someone to repeat themselves three times but still misunderstand their words, you hope they said something witty, and you laugh. (Later, your friends tell you that person really said their Great Aunt Harriet died.)

You learn to rely on cues, based on people’s facial expressions. Lip reading comes next.

After several embarrassing attempts at group conversation, you shy away from social encounters. Better to be thought reclusive than to meet people who assume hearing loss equals brain loss.

And yes, some people think hearing loss puts you on a fast track to senility. That's because your brain forgets words you don't hear often.

Eventually, you encounter well-meaning people who think SHOUTING helps. It makes things worse. Yelling emphasizes vowels and makes consonants sound alike. So, if you shouted, “WOULD YOU CLOSE THE DOOR!” it would sound like,” UUH OOH OH UH ORE”! You may look perpetually perplexed as your brain struggles to decipher sounds.

If you really want to know what hearing loss is like, stuff cotton in your ears and go about your day. It won’t take long for people to give you strange looks and make snide remarks about how you’re messing up their day by making them accommodate your disability.

I know what you will suggest. “Why don’t you get hearing aids?” Well, I DO have them, and they help a little. But I discovered hearing aids can never restore a person’s hearing to the level it was before it faded.

My dad used to say a person can endure anything if he retains his sense of humor.

With that in mind, I envision ridiculous attempts to figure out conversation. My daughter suggested she could stand behind the chair of the person speaking to me and use charades. Like this:

Me: “One word. Sound like pickles.”

(Daughter gesturing wildly behind chair.)

Me: “TICKLES!”

We joked about me sitting on a park bench with two other hearing-impaired friends.

Friend One: “It sure is cold and windy today.”

Friend Two: “No, it’s Thursday.”

Me: “Me too. Let’s go get a soda."

So, how does a person keep a positive outlook with this challenge? She enlists the help of a few close friends who know her situation. When hearing loss emerged, my teenage daughter quietly pinch-hit for me at drive-up windows and group conversations. If I shot her a puzzled look she understood and “translated.” It helped to keep a sense of humor.

As my teacher used to say, “Laughter truly is great medicine.” Or maybe she said, “After grueling fizz you hate Edison.” At least that’s what it sounded like.

What about you? Any experience with hearing loss or those who deal with it? We would love to "hear" your comments below.